Dating with Disabilities

Dating with Disabilities – the Online Experience

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There’s no denying that online dating has brought a lot of benefits for all people looking for love, romance, marriage, and casual sex. Instead of having to hang out at packed bars, you can now click a few times and have a list of potential partners on your computer or phone screen. These and more advantages have been presented to everyone from CrossFit fanatics to disabled singles, just in different ways.

What online dating never could do is escape from prejudice created by society though. This is why some people are experiencing dating websites differently, which we wanted to address by sharing the stories of two different people with disabilities and their time on dating websites.

Kristy, 20

The idea of using online dating as a means of finding a boyfriend has never been that weird to me as a millennial. However, it was a bit scary when I finally decided to give it a go because I’ve been in a wheelchair since I was 15. Turns out I was right to be scared.

Getting to know a guy and starting a relationship with him is something I still haven’t managed to achieve in real life. However, I did manage to find a couple of guys who would date me on the internet. The only problem is that I had to learn the hard way how to set the playground right on dating sites and apps.

Perhaps I made a mistake of not joining a website that specializes in free disabled dating, but I learned a valuable lesson regardless.

I used to post a full photo of myself and a description that included my disability, but that didn’t work. I had only a few guys contact me but things never got past the first couple of messages. Then, I decided to crop my profile picture so that my wheelchair wasn’t visible on it and I changed my description to something a bit more generic.

It wasn’t long until a bunch of different guys started sending me messages and winks, and once they got to know me, they actually gave me a chance and wanted to meet in real life. Some of them got turned away by my condition upon meeting me face to face, but there were also some that didn’t mind the fact that I was a disabled person.

That said, I guess the message here is that disabilities can be scary for people who have them, but also for ones who don’t. Furthermore, people need to give each other a chance to show their personality rather than to judge others by their looks or their ability to walk.

Jason, 54

Back in my day, online dating didn’t really exist, and when it appeared the first, it was the stuff of movies and TV shows. But, as time went by and I became more and more lonely because I couldn’t find a woman who would like me despite my missing arm, I decided it was time to give technology a chance.

About six years ago, I came across an online disabled dating website that claimed it helped connect people with great success. I gave it a go and quickly met a lot of very interesting individuals, from fellow handicapped guys and girls to philanthropists and humanitarians.

But that wasn’t why I was there. I was looking for something solid, something more than an acquaintance or connection I could talk about years after as a fun anecdote – I was searching for love.

And soon enough, I found it. She was beautiful and funny, a woman of many traits, but she wasn’t disabled. She didn’t have any visible handicaps but scars on the inside. It didn’t take much for us two to come to a mutual understanding and after a couple of “offline” dates, we decided to become exclusive.

A few years passed and the two of us got married. We’ve been together ever since and although we don’t have any children together (mostly because neither of us really want it), I feel a deeper connection with her than with anyone I have ever met in my life.

So, for all those out there who are still not convinced, let my experience be an example of how well online dating can work and what great joys it can lead you to even if you’re a disabled person.

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