If you have never dated a person with a disability before but now you have fallen for a girl in a wheelchair, you might be worried that you will do or say something that will offend her. We’re going to be honest here; being a part of the disabled dating community is not a piece of cake, but if you follow several simple rules, you should enjoy a successful and loving relationship with someone with a disability. So, to help you win that girl over, we’ve created a list of things you should avoid doing.
Not respecting her personal space
Don’t start pushing her wheelchair out of the blue. Moving her without her permission is not okay. How would you like if someone just picked you up and started carrying you around? Don’t do this unless you want to make her feel like she is a charity case.
Not thinking your questions through
Asking a lot of questions is a normal part of dating and getting to know one another. However, make sure that your questions are not too personal or inappropriate. For instance, you shouldn’t ask her whether she can have sex, how does she bathe or get up in the morning. If your relationship evolves and you end up dating for a significant amount of time, you will find out answers to these questions anyway.
Even if you have a friend who is in a wheelchair, do not assume that you know what she goes through. Every case is different and there are so many reasons why people end up in wheelchairs. Therefore, let her tell you her story instead of assuming you already know it.
Just because your legs work, doesn’t mean you are better than her in any way. Don’t treat her with condescension and tell her that she is brave or a real inspiration. Maybe you think that you are complimenting her, but this kind of behavior can be really demeaning.
Thinking that her disability defines her
Her handicap doesn’t define her motivations, ambition, and identity, so don’t assume that she is any less driven, creative or passionate than you are.